Greetings, and welcome to the brand-new digital home of Ostrich von Nipple! In this dark corner of the internet you will find all of the latest official news and updates about recent and upcoming OVN projects. You’ll also find exclusive audiovisual delights to tickle your senses and if you explore enough, you’ll even taste some secret sauce.
On the discography page you will find for the first time ever the complete listing of works that Ostrich von Nipple released/participated in. There are likely to be a few things there that you have not seen before. If that has your curiosity piqued, listen to some extremely rare selections from those side projects in the audio section. You can also hear snippets from OVN’s main albums. All of the official Ostrich von Nipple videos are now pleasantly organized in one place over at the virtual theater, and the photos section is filled with album art and rare OVN merchandise! Speaking of merchandise..
The Ostrich von Nipple Merchandise Emporium is open for business! In the Music Shop you will find portals to purchase every available official release, digitally and/or physically (while supplies remain!) and over in the Dry Goods section you will find all of our clothing and other products available for sale. Show up to that high-powered business meeting next week with your Ostrich von Nipple coffee mug. They’ll know who wears the balls in the room.
There are many things to discover here at ostrichvonnipple.com, and many more things to come. It is designed to look like, but not behave like a normal ‘website’. This space is an ever-evolving digital organism, and evolution often takes place without notice. The only way to see everything is to constantly observe the changes. There are many small corners of this place that have been rigged to dispense secrets or exclusive materials when the right conditions have been met.
With so much content coming in and a massive archive of unreleased audio/visual material piling up, the need for personnel became a reality. OVN needed someone or something to help organize the stuff, translate it from Ancient-Ostrich to English, and then present this content to the public, a task not to be taken lightly. Ostrich’s pal r0b0t, being (quite literally) a technologically-minded individual, created some sort of rudimentary artificial intelligence out of old computer parts and some other things laying around in his lab a few months ago. In that time, it established itself via internet connection and somehow formed a part of its database into a view-able webpage. It’s able to perform the necessary translation and categorization functions, and it’s even capable of writing coherent sentences just like this one! r0b0t guarantees there is no chance of it becoming self-aware and going rogue.
This website is just another piece of the puzzle that is Ostrich von Nipple. Maybe it’s even a few pieces, or a small section of the puzzle already assembled but not yet linked to the main chunk. Either way, it’s for you to put together.